How do you tell the women who gave you life that you don’t want the one she gave you. How do you tell the ones you love that home doesn’t really feel like home. Not because their “not good enough” but at a young age you had to watch your dad break your mother’s fragile heart like glass and leave, it was like a piece of her heart just broke off and walked away but at such a young age you could do nothing but sit and watch. It’s not that you don’t love them it’s that at a young age you watched what you thought was love fall apart and didn’t know if you wanted to love just to end up broken and hurt. Its not that you don’t think you have a family but the fact that you had to watch your mothers first get ripped from her arms in court. Its not that boys are not good enough its that your father said nothing packed his stuff up and drove 790.7 miles away for “work” but you truly knew that he didn’t want to be with his family anymore. It’s because and a young age your father sat you and your sister down saying he didn’t want you anymore. Its not that you don’t love them but because you don’t know how to love. So when you push people away you want them to know that its not that you don’t them but because never again do you want to feel the pain that you felt when your father left again. Its not that you don’t want to live its that you not sure how to. Its not that you don’t trust its that there are so many boys that broke your trust. The man that you were supposed to be able trust with your whole life broke you and lied and lied again. its not that you don’t have hope but the fact that you given up because you don’t know how to keep the hope the light when your life seems so dark. Its not that you don’t want to try anymore but you know that you will never be anyone’s favorite. The fact that you know you will always be second best you will never be someone first pick because you know that you will never be good enough. All you can do is pick yourself up dust yourself off and carry on for you and only
It’s not that….
Kenzie's life 